I came to Japan several times with my family while I was growing up, and each time I came I did a homestay. When I was on a homestay in junior high school I had a male high school student as a Japanese tutor, who helped me with my Japanese, and he came to my room to do this. My host okaasan never said anything to me about this, but after awhile a friend of the okaasan's told me that I should study with the tutor in the main room (chanoma) where all the family gathered, rather than in my room. Since this woman was someone I hardly knew her words came as a total shock to me, and I wondered why the okaasan hadn't told me directly. Since I was able to talk about all kinds of things in simple Japanese with the okaasan while I helped her with dinner preparations each night, I didn't think the problem here was one of language difficulty. In this situation in my own country a student would use her room to study with a tutor, to avoid inconveniencing everyone else in the family, and I did this because I was thinking of the convenience of the family. That this created a bad result and that the family didn't tell me about it directly was a shock that I remember well even now.

 
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