Molly is very distant to the subject of the family spirits, when she accompanies the otoosan to visit the graves. This shows in her description of the otoosan's activities at the graves as strange and unfamiliar. She is awkward when the otoosan gives her the beads and asks her to pray. She also knows little about who the spirits are (let alone the priests with shaved heads who chanted, beat drums and did other exotic things.) However, she tries her best to attend and even participate in the ritual. After the ritual she tries to ask the otoosan and Masako about the family ancestors, and when she asks if they really believe they 'talk' to the ancestors Masako tells her this is like believing in Santa Claus.
Janine's experiences are like Molly's, when she first came to her family, and they took her to the graves. But after Janine returns to her own country, she keeps in touch with her family, and is told that someone has died whom she had known. Through the gentle nudging of the family, she gradually stops ignoring their references to those who have died, and going to visit their graves. When she returns to the village and they take her to the graves, she finds it natural to take the incense and offer it, when everyone else was doing this. Knowing the person who died had given the offering at the grave a totally different meaning for her. Seeing how her family relates to their former members, makes her realize their "presence" in the family.